Plan B is the new Plan A
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
