I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
