You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
