My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
