If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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