so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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