I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just tell him i said nine months
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
