woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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