So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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