that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Randomize
