Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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