Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
