She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
