if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
