So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
