Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
