do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
