May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
