it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize