Just cropdusted the office
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
