is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
