So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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