is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
