No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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