i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
