Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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