haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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