Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
