Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
