I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
