is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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