i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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