She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
