i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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