Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
