Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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