Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
