i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Randomize
