I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize