i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
