So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
She announced her abortion via fbk
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize