8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You pole danced in your parka.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize