As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
