In the future we'll all be gay
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
