You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
