Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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