Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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