I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
