Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just blew my weed a kiss
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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