I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
