I love black thongs
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
