hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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