the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
id be glad to
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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