ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No subtext here. People are naked.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
