Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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