Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
When are your genitals available?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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