No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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