did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
