and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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