You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
