I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
