Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize